Today is my
penultimate day in Vanuatu. On Friday I board an early flight to Sydney in
order to embark on a long spiritual journey across Southeast Asia(Indonesia,
Thailand, Laos, Vietnam, and Cambodia). My last days in my village were filled
with kava, family meals, and farewells. The process of selling the items in my
house was onerous. I felt like every other sentence out of any villager's mouth
was an inquiry about what I was selling, for how much, and what I could give
away. One woman wandered into my house while I was selling a mattress without
my permission and laughed at me when I reprimanded her for it. But still, I was
sorry to be leaving. Leaving, I feel a strong sense of accomplishment and
relief. Peace Corps would not be in Vanuatu if the country was perfect. The
culture of Vanuatu turned out to be far more frustrating than I thought it
would be going in. The lack of accountability, constant "yu go wea?"
inquiries, and complacency for assimilation to the status quo have been arduous
to handle. However, I must believe the culture can evolve and learn to
ameliorate these circumstances. I have been impressed by the resourcefulness of
many people I have met and hope this resourcefulness can be combined with
responsibility in order to construct a better Vanuatu. I have often said,
"If there's one lesson Ni-Vans can take from volunteers, it's that you are
responsible for your life and the lives of those you care about." Ni-Vans,
like people from any other culture, cannot hope to succeed so long as they
refuse to do this. I am quite happy to be leaving, since I am leaving these
frustrations behind. Still, leaving Vanuatu requires letting go, delegating my
various projects and knowledge to them, and hoping they can prove themselves.
It requires confidence in the people of Vanuatu. It requires a leap of faith.
Many of my friends have opted to extend another year. I did not even consider
this option because I knew I wanted to find work in Istanbul. I wonder if some
of those who have extended have done so out of fear of returning. I understand
the trepidation. Beginning a new chapter in one's life is daunting. I also
understand not wanting to delegate the projects we have invested so much
energy, time, passion, and resources in to a culture with no system of
accountability. But this is what all Peace Corps Volunteers must do at some
point. We must let go. It's a necessary risk, and one that I must believe will
be rewarded. In Buddhism, it is said that the greatest gift one can give
another is one's true presence, just being there. No material possession could
ever compare. I have to believe that I have made an impact just by being myself
in a culture centered around conformity. We can't accomplish anything through
affectation. We must be authentic to who we are, and hope this authenticity
will initiate change in the world. I hope the nation of Vanuatu will ruminate
on its position in the international community and try to learn from other
countries. This will be difficult, being such an isolated nation, but not
impossible with today's technological advancements. I hope Vanuatu will
recognize the value of diversity and allow more space for it. I hope Vanuatu
will accept the importance of responsibility and learn to reward constructive
behavior and punish destructive behavior. I hope Vanuatu will learn the
appreciate the efforts of volunteers and work in solidarity with them, instead
of expecting them to do all the work while they maintain full control of the
work, as my headmaster did and has happened to many other volunteers. I hope
Vanuatu will learn the art of confrontation and venture into the 21st Century
instead of hiding from the spotlight, which I saw time and time again. (This
could be one reason why so few have heard of Vanuatu). If not, I am not opposed
to Peace Corps leaving Vanuatu, but I can't get bogged down by that mindset.
And now that I am about to leave, that challenge is becoming easier and easier.
Instead, I must let go. It's up to them now. As the Venerable Thich Nhat Hanh
says, "Looking with the eyes of compassion, offering a peaceful step.
These are gestures of peace and nonviolence we can offer every day. Speak
peacefully, walk peacefully, think peacefully, and your peace will radiate out
in all directions."
